Aint It Fun?
by AnimeZombieHunter
Summary: Freedom is for the American people but not America himself. Not when it comes to the only thing Independence can't gain him.


******A/N This is a songfic in Alfred's POV after the America Revolution **

******Paramore - 'Aint It Fun'**

******Enjoy! Or not because... you know... Depressing **

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_I don't mind_

I tell myself, I don't mind losing you…

_Letting you down easy but just give it time_

Maybe not so easily, nothing about war is ever easy. I'll just give it time. Just give you time. Things will work out I lie, I hope, I beg.

_If it don't hurt now just wait, just wait a while_

Yeah, I'm numb today and maybe tomorrow but not forever. The hurt will come back; it's what I wait for. That and for us again… you again. Hope for you while I wait out these waves of hurt and numbness that crash through me. No matter that I'm the one who left, it still hurts. Gambling that losing you, would eventually bring us together.

_You're not the big fish in the pond no more_

I'm no longer one of your priorities. Though sometimes I wonder if I ever was, you were never there.

_You are what they're feeding on_

Everyone wants a piece of America now, well except you. Not that you or I could do anything about it even if we are the representations of our Nations.

Nations. I am a Nation now.

Independence looks good on my people.

I had to leave; it was what my people wanted, what they needed.

And maybe I needed it too.

_So what are you gonna do_

What am I gonna do? Now that I've lost you.

Sure, I'll help my people, bring about a new age. I am the United States of America. Its own hero. But what will Alfred F. Jones do? Because he's, I've, lost everything I wanted for myself. Even Independent, I can't help but wanting more. Because the United States of America and Alfred F. Jones may share a body but this soul belongs to you.

_When the world don't orbit around you?_

When you smiled, I felt like I owned the world. When you were home, I had your full attention. You spun in my orbit.

It wasn't until I was older when I realised I wanted more between us, that it occurred to me that I spun in your orbit. Your visits were what this soul ached for.

Alfred F. Jones would have stayed longer before he would confess but the United States of America had no time to wait with his duty to his people and in turn a duty that I, Alfred F. Jones, must bear.

_So what are you gonna do_

It is so hard having your duty fight your soul, while heart and brain can be nothing but neutral. I want both my country to thrive and you. I would give anything to have you by my side right now. Even if you hate me. I'd give anything. But that is the problem the Nations face, ownership. The people own me, I have nothing to give but my soul. And you don't even know you have it because I couldn't tell you, because I had to let you go for the chance to get you back.

_When the world don't orbit around you?_

I had to gain independence for my people and for myself. For as long as I remember I have been your little brother, I want more. I'm selfish because I want your soul in return. Though I would settle for the occasional glimpse of your smile.

That smile. Damn.

The one you hide because of what time has allowed you to witness. Time has worn you down.

I'm beginning to see. This Independence is both killing me and making me fly.

_Aint it fun?_

This new life for my people, for me. Becoming our own.

_Living in the real world_

I never knew what you hid from me, how you sheltered me and cared. Life's a bitch. The real world is a place of wars, oppression and spilt tea.

_Aint it good?_

This new life? A place to call my own. Where my people are finally living their lives.

_Being all alone_

Alfred F. Jones.

Alone.

It's not true of course, I have my colleagues and friends but still that empty void where a soul should be makes me forget I'm not alone. I want a soul there whether yours or mine, I don't care.

A lie, always a lie. I wish it were yours. I don't want mine back because it will always belong to you.

_Where you're from_

I know you raised me like I was yours, so at the very least I should think of you as my father. Although, you would make a better mother, no matter that you can't cook. You used to worry about everything I did, even if it wasn't remotely dangerous. I should be calling you Mama but it's the last thing I want.

Because what I want, is to have a child that is _ours_ to call you Mama. I want forever with you and whatever that future holds.

_You might be the one whos running things_

The United States of America's human personification. You'd think I'd get to rule and I do, sort of but this Land will always rule me. Now it's my turn to raise its people and other Nations people if need be because I can do anything now that I'm Independent.

_Where you could ring anybody's bell and get want you want_

I own this country but at the same time this country owns me. I can do anything I want, with anyone I want but only with her permission.

Only if Lady America permits it.

Not so long ago, it was you I had to get permission from. Back then, I could whine and wiggle until I brought you around. But what I loved you for most was when you stood your ground. That gaze that said you were only looking out for me no matter how much I hated a 'No' at the time. But this ground that I stand on doesn't know me like you do, sometimes I think it is forgotten that I'm a separate person from America.

Freedom is for the American people but not America himself.

Though every day I thank whatever deity exists that I'll never be free of you.

_You see it's easy to ignore trouble_

I would have stayed with you forever but the American people needed me. I could forget that there were problems when I was at home with you.

_When you're living in a bubble_

Our home though, stood on American soil. My people needed freedom and I needed you to see me. See me as someone other than your little brother. In fighting you, I was given freedom from those restraints. Even if that means you only see me through a haze of red hatred I can hope, that one day I'll get you back.

_So what are you gonna do_

How and when push heavily on my mind. I don't know what will happen in the future that will allow us to be together again and sometimes I wonder if it will ever happen.

_When the world don't orbit around you?_

I no longer have you to be the centre of my universe and I would be drifting out there in this endlessness if I wasn't attached to my United States. This country that I love with all of my being that separates me from the one I love with all my soul. I am yet to feel hate towards my country and I honestly doubt I ever will.

In truth, I'm without you because I never told you how I felt.

_So what are you gonna do_

On the occasions that I see you during meetings where our Nation's leaders stiffly discuss their positions, it is all I can do to keep going. To keep moving forwards because no matter what my country needs me and that will always be. Just as I will always need you.

_When nobody wants to fool with you?_

I see the exhaustion carved into your youthful face. Your once short temper is now non-existent.

Did I do this to you? I think maybe I did.

Don't you see I did it because I love you as more than a brother?

The hurt I feel is unbearable and I knew that I didn't have the courage to tell you that I needed to leave.

The American Revolution was a perfectly timed escape route. All I ever wanted was to be your everything, a hero in your eyes.

Instead I broke your heart with a cowardly retreat.

_Aint it fun?_

But it had to happen. My people _did_ need their freedom and it was right to gain Independence. Seeing the hope in the eyes around me. I know that we'll always have to follow orders. I'm sorry that our orders conflicted.

Though what made the Boston Tea Party the most fun was imaging the look on your face. Knowing you'd flush red and then explode with insults while your huge eyebrows crashed into your eyes with a frown.

It was always fun making your eyebrows twitch; no matter how ridiculous they'd look on anyone else, you wouldn't be you without them.

_Living in the real world_

No longer one of your colonies, America is free. Together my country and I can take this world by storm. Become individualised, gain our own stereotypes. Like how all English people drink tea and are friends with the Queen. Americans can be loud and obnoxious if that is what they want. Because they are free of reign that was your country held.

_Aint it good?_

As America is technically mine, I got to choose a piece of land.

Yeah, I know. I was allowed to have something I already owned.

You'd probably laugh at that and say when did you ever let anyone tell you what to do.

Anyway, Iggy, my new home has a porch along the front of the house; it's cozy and peaceful, perfect for a family and has a white picket fence stretched along the boundary. A lot of my people have been saying they want their future to look like that. I'm thinking it might actually catch on. It's good to have a home. Whoever said home is where the heart is obviously didn't have wild horses running around the backyard. I wouldn't change this for anything.

_Being all alone_

…Who am I kidding?

_Aint it good to be on your own?_

I love the United States of America.

_Aint it fun, you can't count on no one_

I am Independent.

_Aint it fun?_

I can do whatever I want.

_Living in the real world_

This is my time. I have been given a chance- No; I earned the _right_ to be free along with my people. Together we can make this country whatever we want. This is our world now. The real world. Not the world where we sit and wait for something to happen. Where we are looked down upon for being 'one of the Colony people'. Where we can live how we want to live.

I can finally be happy!

_Don't go crying to your mama_

You cried. When I fought against your people. You cried. That wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to gain Independence and then in a few years, a century, whatever it took, you and I would become friends again. And, maybe, eventually something more…

But you cried.

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

I wondered if you had finally realised how serious I was. Maybe you had finally realised this was reality… I was leaving. And I was willing to fight for it. For my people…

For me.

_Dont go crying to your mama_

When I used to have nightmares that were not scary at all and I'd get something in my eye. And you'd come into my room and hold me because you thought I was scared of a completely unscary ghost. It makes me wonder who holds you.

Your Mama, Britannia, is long gone and social customs have skewed making all the Nations on edge. Who holds you? Is it the same person who holds me? Loneliness?

Because I realised, that the scariest nightmare I have ever had, if you count the others I had when I was younger, as 'scary'. Then the very worst, is where I realise that you crying, a prideful Nation that despises weakness, might mean I can't fix us.

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

Because that was real. Your tears were _real_. I felt everyone that fell like a blow to my chest. Blows that raptured my heart just a little more each time they dropped.

...It hurts, Iggy.

_Aint it fun? Aint it fun? Baby, now you're one of us_

I can't help but think that being a Nation means that you are bound to a fate that is inexplicably intertwined with hurt.

The hurt that a Nation feels when its people spill red and cry for an end.

The hurt that a Nation feels when they realise they incapable of being an individual.

And the hurt that the alternative of being owned causing, like Prussia, an end.

The hurt that a Nation feels when they realise they have an eternity to stand on the sidelines while people fall in love.

I understand now that I am one of you.

Baby, I'm so sorry.

_Aint it fun? Aint it fun? Aint it fun?_

Things were less complicated before. Don't get me wrong. Despite all my complaining I am happy. There is just something missing.

_Aint it fun?_

The world is such a dark and yet light place. The shades of morality blend with the pain of the world while the happiness shifts throughout. It is too much and yet not enough.

The perfect life cannot possibly exist. Because without the dark you cannot fully appreciate the light.

It's utter bullshit and yet not.

My life, it seems, has always been light that has dark under the surface. Not a bad light but a sad one. Because I have yet to be completely happy, no matter what my smile says. I've had you but not completely. And I have freedom but now I don't have you at all.

It's always you.

_Living in the real world_

Even so, the United States of America is thriving and I'm so proud. We've been through a lot but we made it. I'm sure there will be tough times ahead but I think we can make it. I want this country to be the strongest, not just so it can survive but so we can help others who need it. I want that freedom I feel, the freedom that ruffles hair and tugs at clothes, that flows past ankles and warms the skin, I want that freedom to be universal. Even for those that aren't in this world, I want a freedom Universe.

And maybe, I can help build that dream.

_Aint it good? Ain't it good?_

I'll take a while but I think I can help people and maybe lessen the pain that lives within this world. Maybe even the pain that I carry…

_Being all alone_

I miss you, Iggy.

One day.

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Reviews are welcome :)


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